In the Crucible

Explores the ways in which a care giver is challenged with all the things life has challenged them with before their role as care giver.

Looks at how the big picture becomes acute.

How do those old challenges from the past seem to magnify under the microscope while functioning as a care giver and what can someone do when it happens?

How might we best serve all those care providers who find themselves seeking space to handle life inside the crucible where everything gets magnified?

In the Crucible

old-man-old-timesPressure is a peculiar thing.

Pressure pushes us toward something more than we were before. But there’s always the choice to give in to the pressure or not.

Damn you free will.

No, it’s not always beneficial to be under pressure. Some say constant exposure to a pressure we resist kills us.

I guess it may be better to give in than to die in the resistance. Right now I don’t recall any experience of the latter.

This work is several years in the making. There’s even a rumor around that this work is something I am destined to do.

Is this indeed the work my Soul craves? I don’t know.

But the pressure to see it through has continued to grow long after the life experience ended. Funny though that there are times when it feels like it has never ended at all.

As far as the Soul thing goes, maybe this is that one defining work for me.

Or perhaps only a stepping stone or bread crumb trail to something I don’t even know I don’t know yet. Prep time for what is coming.

One thing feels certain though. This old Soul of mine feels tired. Like letting go. Like going home. Like some crucial desire to heal is all thats left.

For those selfish reasons is why I wrote my Soul Bridge. This grand vision of a need to be whole. Which in itself feels very peculiar since I have no recollection of ever being whole.

Of being in a hole? Yes. But of feeling what it might feel like to be whole? None. Whole is not a state of being my memory can grab some “remember when” moment from.

Memory has failed me before though.

Wholeness could be lurking there just below the surface and yet completely invisible. Unseen, unfeeling and unrecognizable from so many layers of other meta goo etc. being piled on top.

Layer after layer. Year after year.

Some kind of never ending story running in the background with the volume turned down.

Are you willing to ride along?

Will you chase choices made that have delivered me to an inevitable point of telling this story in hope of healing and heading toward whole?

I hope so. I want this to help you too. This story. These words. I want you to have healing.

Wholeness too.

That way if I don’t make the whole trip, you’ll be able to tell me all about it anyway.

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